I am Catholic in the way that God is the first neighbor I ask for a cup of sugar. I am a different girl than the one who wore white and believed it was Jesus on her tongue. I am a different girl than the one who felt the priests oily thumb on her forehead and spent the next year looking for the divine within her. There’s so much in this world that I don’t know how to do – so much I am doing wrong, bravely. To know that I can walk into a church and know my lines means there is always a place at the table for me. I go to confession once a year without telling anyone. I don’t think I need forgiveness, I just need to hear another person loves me in spite of. I try out different churches, dabble in Hinduism because maybe that’s more true. I don’t know how to separate the Church from its ghosts, the God I understand from the God that loves rich people. I have always talked back and He is the only one to never complain.