Is it ok to never let him go?

When things don’t go quite as planned, and you end up heartbroken and love bruised our friends will remind us that there will be a day hearing his name doesn’t make you ache, that you will get over him, you will let him ago.

But can we ever truly let go of someone we loved?

For the time that they were in your life, be it weeks or decades, they were part of you. And maybe you won’t write them poems or send them stupid texts after a few drinks, but in your own quiet, unmoving way, still love them.

You’ll never act on, or do anything about this love. It will sleep quietly somewhere in your ribcage. You will love other people, and they too will fade away, but you will always have that still and self possessed love to keep you warm when you feel entirely alone.

It won’t be the love you felt when you had them, you know, that kind that ate you up and spit you out. They will become the song you listen to every so often when you’re nostalgic and melancholy. You will pull up old messages, pictures, maybe even letters, and it will be like touching a wound that has long healed, but you still aren’t used to the absence of pain. You are surprised at your own ability to forget.

Give yourself permission to love him without pain. Give yourself permission to love him without expectation.

And I’m not saying you won’t move on and love again, of course you will. But they were a part of you and to stop loving them would mean to stop loving part of yourself.

Because maybe they were your soulmate, maybe they started a fire in your the day they first said your name aloud and you still haven’t been able to put it out. Of course, it will be a little bit sad, a little bit tinged with heartache, but I think there’s a little bit of nobility in there too.

 

 

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